Why Greeks can't be terrorists...

1. 8:45 am is too early for us to be up.
2. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.
3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
5. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
6. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
7. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
9. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
10. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.

ARE YOU A GREEK? HOW CAN YOU TELL FOR SURE?

1) If you have ever been hit by a 'PANTOFLA'
2) If your Holidays include 5 meats and 50 relatives.
3) If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
4) If you light a candle to Panayia on the night before your big test.
5) If you use your chin to point something out.
6) If you have at least 2 relatives within walking distance'
7) If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner, even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
8) If you ever attended, graduated or dropped out of Greek School
9) If during Greek Easter you take off from work for religious reasons, and attend the Epitafio at NIGHT.
10) If you become sick and anemic because you did not eat meat.
11) If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some 'Vick's vapor rub' all over your chest and inside your nostrils.
12) Your mom makes your bed every day even though you've just turned thirty-two.
13) If you call all non Greeks 'XENI' even if you know their nationality.
14) If at least 2 other cousins have the same name as you.
15) If you hated fakes, bamias, or fasolakia as a kid , but started enjoying them as you grew up.